Sheeran/Macklemore

Not that I have a world stage here, but I’m going to jump in on the whole Ed Sheeran/Macklemore controversy and say that I’m with those who are in a position to protect what’s precious. Ed Sheeran is protecting something precious. Mackelmore et. al. is as well. But I’m wondering how many folks have read Sheeran’s remarks on the controversy surrounding Macklemore’s removal from the tour. Ed did everything he could, short of abandoning people for whom he is responsible. Livelihoods rely on Ed Sheeran continuing the tour. Whether or not he could personally take the hit, he is a business entity with attached participants who can’t afford the loss. And he has a unique fan base to protect.

I was ranting about Gaza before it was widely accepted, cringing every time I posted, waiting for the accusations. This was over 10 years ago. But then I went through a stretch in my life when I couldn’t keep up with Gaza or many other things. The stress & demand as mother of 3 & much else (chronic illness) pulled me into a time of mostly exclusive focus on my world & on non-stressful news. I didn’t have the pressure of folks judging me for not standing up for the same issues I’d always stood for.

My own experience gives me pause when I encounter controversy around advocacy & especially condemnation of those who don’t speak up. It’s complicated, peeling back the layers of moral accountability. On the world stage, those who wield decisions directly impacting lives are the ones most responsible. Then we could establish secondary accountability and group folks who’re able to influence the decisionmakers as thus accountable. And then we could look at influencers of all types and say that they reside in tertiary accountability. But we would need to ask ourselves what levels of demand and need exert limitations on the tertiary accountability and would those limitations move them down a notch or two in accountability. And on we go.

Besides looking at accountability, we need to also regard the ways people advocate. We have the most basic form of advocacy: using our voice. And we have other forms of advocacy: using finances, networking with folks who organize protests of varying types, using our platform, should we have one, to speak up or influence support for the suffering.

Let’s focus on the one form of advocacy we seem to love the most here: speaking up. It’s easy to say that to not choose to speak up is to side with the bully or the killer or whomever is guilty of destroying what is precious. But it’s also so reductive it risks becoming that which targets what is precious. For instance, I’m healing early childhood sexual trauma at this point on my path, and as a result, my capacity for even looking at what’s going on in the world right now is massively diminished. Simple things, as well as stressful things can set me back profoundly. Then there are those who have wounds and are unable to deal with stressful dynamics because of those wounds and all they know is that they just don’t have it. They aren’t sure why they don’t have it to speak up; they just don’t have it. Our lives can become so besieged and beleaguered by demands and poverty and overwhelming situations that we aren’t able to develop the self-awareness to know why we turn and run when we see conflict that needs intervention. Or why we pause and cringe and can’t come up with the right words or find ourselves shaking all over when it’s time to face something challenging. Let’s look at that and ask ourselves which culture creates bombs. Let’s think of this and ask ourselves what societal constructs insist on productivity and profit over wholeness. And then let’s notice that same culture and society is what has injured people’s spirits such that they are not able to speak up without it costing more than they have to give. Every transaction we embrace requires something of us. You can argue that advocacy gives back, but I would argue that you are being reductive, once again. There are people who literally cannot afford to utter one word associated with controversy or war or destruction because they have been that profoundly injured and have yet to experience the counterweights of healing, recuperation and rehabilitation. Or they are that overwhelmed by the demands of their world.

We apply our standards of productivity, accountability and advocacy as if we’re all living in the same situations. As if going to work in a soul-killing job we can’t yet escape, as if living in an economy that works against our being human, as if many other factors don’t play out in each life, adding to the overall strain. On societal and cultural levels, we are stewing in the very vibes that have caused the conflict between Israel/Palestine. We have not wrested our world from the reign of power over and greed, from toxic patriarchy and misogyny (the stuff of rape & family of origin wounding which can disable and trap lives). The truth is, this reign is insidious, reaching into our daily lives and impacting how we look at our own preciousness, our value. If we truly care about the root cause of genocide, then we care to protect those who must choose to spare their spirit and wait to speak up or find other ways to support the marginalized. We either/or ourselves into destroying the very value we’re screaming about as advocates when we do not give room for people to choose their seasons of silence. Or we don’t give room for the fact that some folks are just so mentally and spiritually bankrupt, they don’t know why they can’t speak up.

Imagine a world where there is freedom to take the space to avoid controversy and political discourse and imagine such freedom is as valuable as human life. In fact, know that it is that valuable and know that it is as valuable as human life because humans literally require spaces free of controversy and political discourse so they may heal and be who they truly are in love and truth, beyond fear and shame. We must never assume that we are all able to raise our voices. And if we judge those who don’t raise their voices, are we not seeing the privilege we reside? We are privileged to see clearly since our lives have afforded us the room to know what matters. Many lives do not encounter the room to know what matters. We are privileged to speak up since the trajectory of our lives has not so crushed our spirit that we have no idea how precious we are, let alone how precious are those who live half a world away.

Look at your privilege when you rise to condemn the silent. Look at your privilege when you assume indifference and apathy are the root cause of silence. You must first be in tune with what is precious to then be able to become indifferent to what is precious. OR: You have never been in touch with your own preciousness and are thus disabled and thus indifferent to the value of all lives. You must first know the value of your own life to be able to recognize the value of action and movement in defense of life to then become apathetic to the causes that nurture life. And then, there are those who are active in advocacy because they’ve been guilted into action. Or they want the payoff. Or some mixture thereof.

I love Elie Wiesel. I agree with him. Indifference is deadly. We must be careful to avoid becoming indifferent to the complexity of being human and of creating a world free of toxic paradigms insisting our humanity march along a rote line of compliance to the truths we embrace. I bet Wiesel wouldn’t insist those with broken legs run to douse the burning buildings. Let’s agree that mental and psychological wounds, societal and economic burdens are as devastating, (often moreso in the long term) as broken legs.

Let’s also agree that we do have seasons in our lives when we are drawn to focus on specific things that pull us away from the turmoil in the world and into our unique purpose. We must not lose sight of why we advocate. We advocate because life is precious, every single aspect of what it is to live and be human is precious, including choosing our times of silence.

Looking at musicians or artists, we cannot afford to be any less in tune with what is precious. The humanity of each musician, each artist, every layer of their lives and the lives influenced by these folks is as precious as the causes we embrace. Ed Sheeran is one who wants to provide space for youth, and for those whose needs require minimal to no exposure to politically-charged causes, or even just stress. I massively appreciate both Sheeran and Macklemore because of who they are uniquely and hope they’ll be able to share a stage in the future. But we need to live in a world that gives room for humans being human. I believe we can embrace advocacy without losing sight of our needs and limitations. If Sheeran were cheering for genocide, I’d be booing him off the stage. I’d boo anyone cheering for genocide, if I had the strength to do so. I’ll say this again: Ed Sheeran fought to have Macklemore and others stay. He hates genocide.

Toxic masculinity bombs refugee encampments and creeps into dogma and arrests compassion. It seizes the stuff of being human even if we’re not strapping ourselves into a B-52. The effects of toxic masculinity (oppressive patriarchy) is everywhere and does not discriminate against advocates. Beware the bully within, insisting we all goddamn get our asses in gear, bootstrap pronto, and start screaming right this minute about the genocide. Seriously. Also, Free Palestine.

Reminding Centuries

“The Moon’s Say So”

The design shown here showcases Part II of III of my prose poetry published here titled, The Moon’s Say So.

“And to my end this may be the most these soles know: to grow old in the hum of an ancient song & wait for the next expression of love, to know that only those gifted with fortunate favor & a timing divine make it beyond the mountain and across the sea…”

No Ounce of Will…

“The Moon’s Say So”

The above design showcases Part I of III of my prose poetry published here titled, The Moon’s Say So.

I’m particularly feeling this bit of the quote today “No gumption of the reddest desire can re-write the years gone by or shift the mountain aside.” as I continue my work of healing. On the one hand, I wonder why I couldn’t have remembered these devastating events sooner, and on the other hand, I know remembering them before this stretch of the road would have short-circuited my focus as a mama. So, here’s to “the moon’s say so” and all that love heals as we yield to the work of becoming who we truly are in love and truth.

Take Me There…

Love Point

Design by J. Ruth Kelly, All Rights Reserved

Many, many moons ago on this blog I wrote the following in recognition of how precious is the work of being and becoming who we are and how I’d wanted so many goals to have been accomplished by then. And well, here I am in this now. So many hopes still seemingly languish, but I feel their hum and they keep telling me love is the way and the play of being. And from being, all will emerge at the right point, perhaps not all hopes fulfilled, but I trust the pattern unfolding before me.

“I wanted so many things to be accomplished by now and yet, the time hasn’t made room for those things to emerge. Other things are growing, emerging slowly. More precious, deeper knowings of purpose, of resonance, of acceptance of this path. When healing the amness layer of self, the heart cries out to act, to do, to express in the life what is brewing deep within. But timing can make the difference between a fractured movement and a whole flowing vision-in-motion.”

I like how the poem in the above design ties it all together. It’s lovely to discover the gems here from ages ago are not only still relevant, but they infuse my soul with renewed purpose and a distinct feeling of being “a whole flowing vision-in-motion” … as I heal on even deeper levels.

Original poem post: Love Point.

Post quoted above: Just Keep Going.

Sway Play Me

Oasis of the Light

Design by J. Ruth Kelly, 2026

The above excerpt is from the whole poem titled, Oasis of the Light. Found here.

Divorce (And ME/CFS)

Finalized in 2025, but there could be confusion…

My blog has been around for ages now and throughout postings folks will encounter my mentioning of my “ex” and of being divorced. I did not officially divorce until 2025, but in my heart and mind, we were divorced since our marriage ended after years of heartache. We did separate for years. Then the economy being what it was and still is, and my battle with ME/CFS, along with the needs of our three children converged as the most defining considerations. After reflecting on what outcomes we needed to nurture, we realized we needed to move back under the same roof in order to launch our children successfully. We literally were unable to legally divorce until 2025, but we gave each other room to pursue other relationships should the opportunities arise.

When we separated, we both felt confident my illness would still give me room to work and move us along to a finalized divorce before too long. However, confidence does not cure chronic illness and my health took a nose-dive the likes of which cornered me into working from the home and limited the time I could invest even in working from the home. I went through the cycles all ME/CFS folk go through where I would establish a fairly reliable baseline of possible activity and then life would pull the rug out from under me and leave me without a baseline, clinging to the couch for weeks or months at a stretch. Divorce became an elusive though sure outcome.

ME/CFS, and any chronic illness, catapults folks into challenging and nearly impossible life situations like the one I reference here where divorce is delayed for, gulp, two decades. If you have relatives or friends suffering serious chronic illness, be there for them. See them. Affirm their challenges and do what you can to help carry the burden. Know, too, that simply “going on disability” is not often an option and has been particularly challenging for ME/CFS folks since it has taken the medical community decades and decades to simply begin to acknowledge ME/CFS as a very real and non-psychogenetic illness. What does this mean? Note the words used here: Acknowledgement of legitimacy has begun and there are still far more uninformed physicians than informed. Medical neglect devastates many of the ME/CFS population and reaches into the legal work of seeking rightful financial relief. Those deciding whether or not ME/CFS is legit enough to warrant disability benefits are influenced by those who still suffer the terrible and often willful ignorance that leads to the abandonment of millions suffering with this real and debilitating disease. So, if the medical community still needs to catch up, the legal professionals deciding disability benefits will often not legitimize the need either. Then there’s the whole issue of whether or not spousal support from divorce will provide just enough financial support to block all possibility of receiving disability. The standards are galling. Navigating the possibilities exhausts and discourages the already weary, and is often weathered without help from friends or family. Be the exception if you’re able to be and roll up your sleeves in commitment to understand, bear witness and be with those sidelined by any chronic illness. The impact of ME/CFS is insidious and extensive, isolating and obstructing lives to the point of often complete alienation. Resolving divorce and income needs with such considerations is tricky work.

Meanwhile, should you be one of those who notes the strange and seeming inconsistency of my mentioning being divorced years and years ago, and then finally declaring our actual move to legally do so in 2025, you’ve likely scratched your head in confusion. You should understand why now. Life challenges can be surreal, and though divorce can take place often times before the actual legal act, legal marital dissolution is a powerful, needful spiritual and physical work. Don’t tread lightly into protracted separation. If you can avoid the limbo of not quite married/not quite divorced without wrecking the well-being and housing of those involved, do it. But plenty of people must continue to live under the same roof due to financial impossibilities. If you’re one of those unfortunately trapped, my heart is with you. Hang in there and get help in any way you’re able to do so. And while you’re at it, seize the opportunity to consciously uncouple as you go about your days. It will be important to not reside in the angst of being trapped though you will certainly need the valid times of expressing it as needed. Just ask yourself how much energy you’re giving to the truths you’ve embraced about your divorce. Seek to live more and more in the now and in those truths that impart grace, peace and acceptance as you hold to a future awaiting you.