Penn State

Being philosophically correct is a nowhere game. Being politically correct is the same. Speaking from the heart, I can say that if I think of these children who were brutalized, I can only be enraged that they were so horribly victimized, that they may take decades to rid themselves of the imprint, the injury. And that some of them may not succeed. That, as with physical injuries, some may be maimed in ways nothing, no belief system, no doctor, no miracle can undo. There’s no way out of that fact. And the anger associated with it is a direct representation of the value of what these fiendish acts brutalized. The validity of outrage doesn’t change any laws of power or prosperity or. Or. Those who perpetrated these violations don’t deserve the waste of our energy by stewing in anger over their sicknesses. They are responsible for themselves. We are responsible for how we allow this to inform and inspire our actions as people united in love and in protection of value and nothing more.

That Penn State did what Penn State has been doing all this time is not a shocker. It’s appalling, yes. But it’s not a surprise. We don’t grow into ownership and embodiment of truth overnight. Penn State won’t any time soon, if ever, since they stand only for profit. We cannot trust institutions. No matter how long their tradition or how reputable. We can work with them to further our own purposes. We can join with them to further our own causes. But we can never assume that our need for diligence in discernment or our responsibility as the gatekeepers for our children (or anything we nurture) is even slightly lifted by the presence of any institution’s reputation or supposed reliability or statement of purpose. We, the parents. We, the neighbors. We, the administrators. We, the co-workers have to assume the buck stops with us. Not with the guy with more clout. Not with the bosses. Not with the lady with the social services degree. Not anywhere but here. With the one living her life, cultivating what she believes in and making sure the fruit of her fields sing of integrity down to the core. Because at the end of the day, association with an institution does not make a person any less vulnerable to exploitation or apathy. It’s up to the individual to raise and keep the standard, to grow up beyond a need for mommy/daddy/institution to parent, rescue, prosecute. It’s that simple and that tough.

jruthkelly4 Comments

Time/No Time

“Time is old age, time is sorrow, time doesn’t heed. There is chronological time by the watch. That must exist, otherwise you won’t be able to catch your bus… But there is another kind of time, which we have accepted. That is, ‘Tomorrow I will be, tomorrow I will change, tomorrow I will become’; psychologically we have created time–tomorrow. Is there a tomorrow, psychologically? That question fills us with dread to ask seriously. Because we want tomorrow: ‘I shall have the pleasure of meeting you tomorrow, I am going to understand tomorrow, my life will be different tomorrow, I will realise enlightenment tomorrow.’ Therefore tomorrow becomes the most important thing in our life. You have had sex yesterday, all the pleasures, all the agonies–whatever it is–and you want it tomorrow, because you want the same pleasure repeated.

Put that question […could you go into psychological time?] to yourself and find out the truth of it. ‘Is there a tomorrow at all?’ –except in thought which projects tomorrow. So tomorrow is the invention of thought as time, and if there is no tomorrow psychologically, what happens in life today? Then there is a tremendous revolution, isn’t there? Then your whole action undergoes a radical change, doesn’t it?” J. Krishnamurti – The Awakening of Intelligence

Not all words and concepts from Krishnamurti reach me. He goes on to say in this quote that we are whole now. In some lives, this is only true in theory, conceptually. Much like the body’s processes of healing, our souls must go through the same thing. We don’t just suddenly step over, depending on the level of injury. Broken foot “you are whole now!” and ha, take a step. See what you get. Same is true for some injuries to the development of person, the freedom of the soul. So, is it the passage of time that heals such wounds? No. Not really. “Time” passes, if you believe time is something other than just a human measurement construct but it doesn’t mean “time” is healing anything or affecting anything at all. Based on the logic behind “time heals all wounds,” we could say the sun heals all wounds and might be closer to the truth. But. Time. Let’s toss it for this post, shall we?

The idea of time is especially big for me today for a fairly significant reason and it struck me how important the releasing of time as a force, as a consideration. When I step into the vibe, the awareness, the energy of there being no tomorrow (not literally but in terms of projecting from this point, this NOW, this moment), many actions and needs melt into a recognition of realities that they will inevitably unfold beyond anything I can see at this time. I can trust. But then, something else happens to other aspects of life, of the moment…they come due NOW.

In the MOMENT. Not in a hectic way. But in peaceful acceptance that without the construct of tomorrow, it is good to assert my will along these lines Right Now. The thought that tomorrow is the day for me to do things for myself is a pretty typical occurrence in this brain of mine. And there are so many needs and wants clamouring loudly. But erase tomorrow and suddenly those things I want to do for me, that are actually possible, are done. I’ve stepped out of time and step back into an awareness of time and the “move” from point A to point B reveals that I was motivated between those two alleged points and did something I’ve been wanting to do for what I recognize as weeks (and weeks!). So what really happened? An acceptance takes place that otherwise languishes on hold as time is vaporized in the awareness of eternal now. Forces ready to respond to the sun are no longer held back and life bursts forth from a seed, “accomplishing” many “things.”

Paradoxically, those things that seem past due in other areas of life, areas I cannot control, processes of growth and healing in myself and in others that I cannot rush, morph into a canvas of love and acceptance. It is seed now. And as seed responds to soil, rain and sun, so will seed shed the initial husk and unfold, reach, grasp for the sun. The sun.

And all the while there is no time…

jruthkelly2 Comments

Shadow Driver

“If we insist that we have no shadow behaviors, we are denying that we are ever impatient, jealous, angry, fearful, envious, dishonest, bossy, judgemental, controlling, manipulative, or critical. All human beings are as responsible for their light as well as their shadow, and without recognizing both parts of ourselves we cannot heal.” Jamie Sams – Dancing the Dream

Denial isn’t one of my bigger pitfalls. But learning how my shadow can be medicine is another story. As obvious as others’ imbalances may be to me, I usually puzzle over my own. Example: “Why in the heck am I so ridiculously nasty impatient, race car driver maniac behind the wheel and so patient everywhere else?” I’m KNOWN by my friends and family, anyone who has ever been in my car while I’m behind the wheel. Known as the nascar nasty shoulda-been-a-career-driver. I don’t just drive like a demon. I do it well. (Knock on wood, fast!) But the thought of spending my life going in a fast car on a perpetual left-turn journey with fumes spewing into the air doesn’t appeal to me. No, I’d rather be on a perpetual left-turn journey through this shadowland, spewing nasty vibes behind the wheel of my car, clueless as to why. Cough.

Nature and “happenstance” are speaking to me more clearly lately. Sitting on the couch, talking with my daughter, looking out the window just in time to see a hawk swoop down low, only a couple feet from the ground. I know life is speaking. I get behind the wheel and I witness myself from the inside out. What have I learned? When the will is not actively engaged in acts uniquely important to the individual, the frustration comes out. Somewhere. Somehow. Me? In my car.

So, how do I know this? Well, the demon-driving has improved. I’m doing things I absolutely must do for me. And the list of “absolutely must” is more detailed and lengthy than it ever was before. But I admit. I will always wrestle rather extreme control-freak tendencies I suppress perpetually. They will have their say down shadow lane in a car with a redheaded dame asking the driver beyond if he would like to wait for the car coming from China, too. It just is what it is. It’s gross. But it keeps me awake to what I’m not swooping down on, scooping up for my sustenance (preferably nothing rodent-like). And shadow drivers find their path, too, beyond the frustrating obstructions and into the sunlight.

On. With. It.

jruthkelly4 Comments

Naked

“…our clothes, our skins, our personalities, our virtues and our vices are as transparent as space. We cannot lay claim to them, and there is no one to lay the claim, since the self is as transparent as its garments.

Empty and nihilistic as it may sound, this recognition of total nakedness and transparency is a joy beyond all telling, for what is empty is not reality itself but all that seems to block its light.” Alan Watts – Nature, Man and Woman

jruthkellyLeave a comment

Occupy Wall Street

Right Here All Over (Occupy Wall St.) from Alex Mallis on Vimeo.

I’m pretty proud of this turn of events in the U.S. It’s been interesting going onto blogs and online news “sources” and countering the propaganda. North Carolina has quite a number of events to choose from, people are finally finding their voices of frustration and strength. Who knows where it will lead, but it is progress, a spiritual honesty supreme. This 6 minute video is worth the time…

jruthkellyLeave a comment

The Downside of Up…

‘Though honing my gratitude muscles here lately, I’m still not much for perpetual positive pounding drowning out the sound of anything realistic, anything begging acknowledgement beyond conspiracies of love and beauty (say the Troy Davis dilemma, Occupy Wall Street, media whitewash of corporate corruption etc.). This 10 minute jaunt is worth the perspective. My only exception with this is that our thoughts and expectations are tremendously powerful, ‘though they are not the only forces creating the realities we call “daily life.”

jruthkellyLeave a comment