Posted by: jruthkelly | October 14, 2009

Break’s Almost Over . . .

And soon the keyboard will be humming with the clickety clack of words piling up for homework, projects and essays. And study. I study by writing notes, then typing them and reading them out loud. Then there’s visualizing what I’m learning. Imagining it. If I can somehow connect it to something of meaning in my daily life, then I know it even more. And I don’t have to do as much writing.

Clickety Clack Homework's Back

Clickety Clack Homework's Back

It’s amazing what you learn about flying by the seat of your pants when you’re mothering three children and focusing on studies. Whatever else I had been clinging to for some semblance of order is . . . gone. I grab and orchestrate on the fly as much as possible and sometimes it works out.  Usually, in fact, it works out. But “works out” includes dishes left in the sink (no dishwasher!), laundry brought to the chair in the living room and…left there to be sorted and folded on the fly and mail piling up high. Oddly enough, it’s teaching me that I, too, can just let things roll without planning out every nth degree. It’s not all up to me. And I manage to get it done, regardless.

It works. I’ve marvelled at how easily I’m releasing things, rolling with the punches and somehow managing to land on my feet (withOUT falling down the stairs!). More of my stinky rotten pride is melting too. People come into my dirty home and I smile. I hug. I don’t cringe and apologize and burn up inside. Big big sigh. This is something I wanted to master. It turns out that life has mastered me a bit and instead of my having to try to overcome this particularly vain streak, it has been smashed. Some things just take a bit of brutal bashing by life’s more relentless tides. And something about unconditionally loving yourself amidst the dust bunnies and dirty laundry helps too.

But wow. To relax with family and friends, to laugh a ton and get extra hugs . . . a welcome reprieve from the whirlwind.

And it begins . . .

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Responses

  1. So… kids, school, writing, etc.
    First, I’d say your health is hanging in and handling (thriving?). I hope so.
    Second, I’d bet anyone would rather come into your home, your world, hear the kids laughing and running about, and have to push aside some space on the kitchen table for room to set down their cup of coffee. You are richer for the clutter. As any who enter your world are, at your kitchen table, or through your blog.

    • And richer that it would be you here gracing my blog…

      My health is hanging in there. I took a 4 hour nap on Saturday. That’s what keeps me from coming unhinged. Thank you for remembering…

  2. this is beautiful
    life’s been thumping me a bit
    it is a good thing

    I really enjoyed reading your undoing and letting go. It’s so funny, You look so young in Your picture I’d never have guessed You have three kids! How sweet! And what a wonderful mom You must be. I learned those lessons as well parenting. Good stuff!

    Thank You so much and Cheers! :)

    • three kids, plenty of stretchmarks and a bit of baggage too, almost 42!

      life does that, doesn’t it? thumps us into being even more human. it’s a grand bash! : )

      appreciate your presence…


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