“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it.
“It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.”
The above quote is one of Martha Graham’s exhortation in a letter to Agnes de Mille in de Mille’s book “Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham”.
The world experienced a unique expression of vitality in the active life of someone I loved from a young age. And sometimes I circle ’round and ’round the conundrum in my mind created by the somewhat immature conflict over why it is I can be so very glad he was a Christian when I don’t share in the basic premise of his beliefs, that we have all sinned and fallen short. But I land on this quote and find the conundrum is only in my mind.
The soul makes sense no rational thought can fully comprehend.
The one who had such a profound effect on many, and died this past Friday, was very much a “Christ-in-you,” deeply spiritual person, but oftentimes with an undercurrent of Zen flow. John was a profound inspiration. And it was, sometimes, a challenge to fathom that combination of Zen Christ-likeness. And in retrospect, I cannot fathom except through this quote.
“There is a vitality. A life force. A quickening.”
And in this one man, it was contagious. It came through and was received by many as a call to Christ. And when I walked away from what I had embraced of the semi-fundie world I formerly resided, that which came through was not completely lost. Love remained. Acceptance remained. The same soulful transaction took place but my mental receptors had changed. This is not true of everyone I’ve encountered from my past life. Their channels are clogged with judgement and fear. His were not.
We often, if not always, translate who we are by the sometimes ancient, sometimes recent code of dependency, particularly dependency on beliefs or thoughts we are either intentionally or unintentionally embracing. And in that translation, the world either rejects or embraces us. Or is ambivalent. John mostly experienced hearty acceptance and he embodied what is best known of Christ, within and beyond the ultimate sacrifice. He loved regardless of ________, which is to say, he loved no matter what your story might be.
I have no stomach for sin-fixation because it fixates on humanity with a judgment resulting in an amorphous but potent cloud of condemnation of being bad or missing the mark. “Sin” as far as I can tell is not what my children were born in. They were born bearing the spiritual inheritance of all that my life and their father’s life bore from the debts created by generation after generation. What debts? Well, when you’re raped as an infant and toddler, and then you conceive and birth a child, that child will have received a measure of the damage done to the spirit and soul and body of the one originally raped, the mom. And that’s just one thread. Only one. Ask therapists what they know about how the Holocaust is born in the bodies and minds of Jews to this day (and Germans). As far as I can tell and truly believe (no, do not call me a Christian), Jesus stood in the gap created by every debt and it is on us to work out for ourselves the healing and release from generational oppression in our personal lives. Our savior did a work and it’s on us to continue that work. But in the celebration of John’s life, the undeniable reality shines through all the confusing mental riddles. He translated the life force we all partake of and that translation imparted hope, strength, a desire to live outside of fear and in love. Both in and out of the realms of semi-fundie confusion. He said often “You are the Your Name Here expression of Jesus.” And many were blown away by it. It set aside the “WWJD” fixation and required a personal expression of Christ. In my view, both in and out of that particular flavor of Christianity, it is the purest form of Christian practice, evoking the highest possible walk of integrity within the structure of that religion and it has my highest regard.
I speak of “mental riddles”, but those words don’t convey the struggles I encountered within myself because I walked away from Christianity and here stood this man who inspired me by his love for Jesus. Mental gymnastics would ensue after conversations with John, but mostly the heartache griped me, the ache to not lose what was precious and will always be precious of the life of Christ. And I didn’t want him to think less of me. (He made it clear that he did not.)
And so today I came across this quote again from a source supreme. And I found peace in the words not because they solved the riddle as much as because they pointed me to the reality of soul, of life force and of how it is we can receive the best from those we may not totally agree with and we can receive because there is that life force nourishing us within and beyond all belief systems.
“Keep the channel open.” John P. Kellogg was able to keep the channel open through his faith in Christ. And not many, in and out of Christianity, have found a way to keep that channel open. His life and passing into the next grand adventure reminds me that we don’t know what we think we know. Some say, “Christianity is bad because it…” but the truth is, when we are sick within, whatever we embrace will be corrupted by that sickness until we face it, heal it and translate life anew. Whether we’re heavy into our atheism or our religion or…
Keep the channel open…accept who you are without denying how you need help with healing or how you’ve fallen short (we all do, whether we believe there’s this thing called “sin” or not) and…
stay in love.
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