Season’s Christalizations

“I love Jesus. I love the Pagan Solstice Christmas pine. I love Mother Earth, I love Goddess Shakti. I love my Buddha-heart. I love freedom from religious authority. I love the perfect consistency of my contradictions. I love luscious berries of fire and mistletoe clustered on the cross of paradox. I love the tree of life, where I am ripening fruit. I love the newborn sun.

And I love what my body says to my soul. ‘Every particle of me is made of Matter, Mater, Mother Dust, each atom a cathedral where pilgrims arrive from the stars to celebrate the miracle of flesh. O my soul, You irradiate the world through me. I am your dance. Let there be no more talk of our difference.’ And so after thousands of years of religious combat, my body and my soul are Christalized in one magnum mysterium.

And where does this mystery occur? In the nameless roadside shrine of my chest, in a flame that never stops burning yet has never been lit until Now. Here I celebrate the birth of God, who is this Breath.” Fred LaMotte


photo by j. ruth kelly, all rights reserved, 2019

The Bee Mistress

Found this lovely spin via Stray Letters from the Moon…

do not
believe in
God because I’ve
never seen him. If he
wanted me to believe in him,
then surely he would come and speak
with me. He would come in through my door
saying, ‘Here I am!’ But if God is the hive and
the honeybee, and pollen and nectar and sun and moon,
then I believe in her and I believe in her at every moment, and my
life is a prayer and a celebration and a communion with the eyes
and through the ears. I honor her by living spontaneously,
as a woman who opens her eyes and truly sees, and
I call her the hive and the honeybee and pollen
and sun and moon, and I love her
without thinking of her, and
I think of her by seeing
and hearing, and
I am with her,

The Bee Mistress – Simon Buxton’s The Shamanic Way of the Bee

Thanks Pierre…

Not Your Business…

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it.

“It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.”

Quote by biographer Agnes de Mille in “Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham”

The world experienced a unique expression of vitality in the active life of someone I loved from a young age. And sometimes I circle ’round and ’round the conundrum in my mind created by the somewhat immature conflict over why it is I can be so very glad he did what he did when I don’t share in the basic premise of his beliefs, that we have all sinned and fallen short. But I land on this quote and find the conundrum is only in my mind.

The soul makes sense no rational thought can fully comprehend.

The one who had such a profound effect on many, and died this past Friday, was very much a “Christ-in-you,” highly religious person but oftentimes with an undercurrent of Zen flow. John was more like a highly believing inspiration. And it was a challenge to fathom that combination of Zen Christ-likeness. And in retrospect, I cannot fathom except through this quote.

“There is a vitality. A life force. A quickening.”

And in this one man, it was contagious. It came through and was received by many as a call to Christ. And when I walked away from what I had embraced of the semi-fundie world I formerly resided, that which came through was not completely lost. Love remained. Acceptance remained. The same soulful transaction took place but my “receptors” had changed. This is not true of everyone I’ve encountered from my past life. Their channels are clogged with judgement and fear. His were not.

We often, if not always, translate who we are by the sometimes ancient, sometimes recent code of dependency, particularly dependency on beliefs or thoughts we are either intentionally or unintentionally embracing. And in that translation, the world either rejects or embraces us. Or is ambivalent. John mostly experienced hearty acceptance and he embodied what is best known of Christ, beyond the ultimate sacrifice. He loved regardless of ________.

I have no stomach for sin-fixation or a basic premise of need for a savior. But in the celebration of John’s life, the undeniable reality shines through all the confusing mental riddles. He translated the life force we all partake of and that translation imparted hope, strength, a desire to live outside of fear and in love. Both in and out of the realms of semi-fundie confusion. He said often “You are the Your Name Here expression of Jesus.” And many were blown away by it. It set aside the “WWJD” fixation and required a personal expression of Christ. In my view, both in and out of that particular flavor of Christianity, it is the purest form of Christian practice, evoking the highest possible walk of integrity within the structure of that religion and it has my high regard.

And so today I came across this quote again from a source supreme. And I found peace in the words not because they solved the riddle as much as because they pointed me to the reality of soul, of life force and of how it is we can receive the best from those we may not totally agree with and we can receive because there is that life force nourishing us within and beyond all belief systems.

“Keep the channel open.” He was able to keep the channel open through his faith in Christ. And not many, in and out of Christianity, have found a way to keep that channel open. His life and passing into the next grand adventure reminds me that we don’t know what we think we know. “Christianity is bad because it…” The truth is, when we are sick within, whatever we embrace will be corrupted by that sickness until we face it, heal it and translate life anew. Whether we’re heavy into our atheism or our religion or…

Keep the channel open…accept who you are without denying how you’ve fallen short (we all do, whether we believe there’s this thing called “sin” or not) and…

stay in love.

Truth Fetish?

‎”Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not imims, priests, rabbis, or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth, my friend, but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.” Shams Tabrizi

Take Up My Cross

All your light casting, shadows me more fully,
cloaking every edge in protective dark,
these tools for tilling soil now barely discernible under cover cast in glaring goodness burning holes in the earth,
drying up precious liquid love ‘til all the corners beg and weep for mercy,
tears shedding grace where your face makes black all my light, churns the wells dry with your truth cruel,
gloating over all my dreams as if,
as if they know no purity ‘neath the paltry structures granted me in my night,
all I had to work with, condemned for using what I had,
detested for making the most of what my eyes could see,
shaking hands now grime-covered in your blaring sun,
hands spent completely in the dirt so true.

Such unrelenting illumination blind and blinding to all that is precious.

Fly me to the moon, away from your ugly righteousness,
away from the crucifixion of divinity inherent,
flayed in the light of the only true way,
mocked in the surety of your refusal to see me,
lost to all the light you had to be,

shining so fully on the “obvious,”
missing the stuff, the substance,
the pulsing bone and home,
the am that I am.

Take up my cross, and set me down in moonlight,
cover me in dew ‘neath trees left to their soil,
arms gracing air, reaching for the night,
strip me of these garments cloaking,
woven in blaring light…

take me to
the love
that loves while seeing,
nurtures while correcting,
adores the inherent goodness beneath the flaws,
take me to the shade cool,

to the place made beautiful in the dance of light and dark, of soul’s sweetest song…