So Much Splendour…

“Perhaps the song of birds is ‘explainable’ simply as a device for sexual attraction; perhaps the radiant wings of insects are no more than protecting colouring; perhaps the beauty of the morning-glory is merely to entice the bee, appealing no doubt to his acute aesthetic appreciation of colour and form. Perhaps. But if the aim of so much splendour is merely to stimulate the sexual processes of purely instinctual organisms, the mountain has laboured and brought forth a mouse.” Alan Watts – Behold The Spirit

 

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No Compromise…

“To be your own shaman, you must be responsible for recognizing and nurturing the needs of your soul. This entails honoring and connecting with your soul-self and honoring and following your soul path. When you take good care of your soul, the energy of your soul is readily available for health, happiness, well-being, living your life fully, and pursuing personal growth and spiritual evolution.” Colleen Deatsman and Paul Bowersox – Seeing in the Dark

Photo by Kate Stetler Holgate, Used by Permission

 

At some point on the path that now trails behind me, not too distant, I reached a place inside, a level of growth that insisted I not compromise my still-forming vision – unless I was forced to do so by some crazy emergency situation. So far, so good. At times it has seemed inevitable, that compromise and capitulation to some hefty life challenges, but there have been plenty of last minute reprieves. Soon, I’m convinced that even the haunt of last-minute, almost-had-to-give-upness will be gone.

But in the meantime, one thing I cannot compromise is what I do for a living and how. And even where. I prefer from the home so I can be here when my kids get home. I insist on working with people who are committed to personal growth and transformation, to creativity and generosity. A spiritual, soulful focus is a must. And so it is, and a wealth of opportunity, growth and challenge. How do we get here? To this point of no-return? By insisting on getting real, staying real and allowing radical grace to erase the old programs of automaton, rigid conformity to norms and status quo, by embracing a path of growth, of awareness, and of authenticity, releasing control and fear.

It’s not easy. I’ve not “arrived” but I feel a kinship with all things transformed and transforming and what a feast this life has become, even at the worst moments. It’s all good…

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Jesus Plays Violin

I got to sit and marvel over both my sons last night. One with longish red hair and a still-cherubic face and viola vibe. The other with this dignified silence his friends can’t ignore. The way our lives twist and turn, taking on hues and chords we never imagined before struck me as I sat there with my daughter in-between me and the father of my children, a man who is friend and co-parent but no longer husband. It was at once amusing and moving. Amusing because the ironies are many and moving because it works beautifully. Like my eldest son’s chucks and long hair with black dress pants and long-sleeved white shirt, the concert garb of a boy from a family held by love.

The image below shows my eldest son, Isaac, complete with cleft chin and slight smile. For over a year now he’s been dubbed “Jesus” by some of his classmates. The irony of such, given the intensity of my past life, blasts a trumpet of hilarity and resilience the likes of which I have to say I thoroughly revel in. I still have the leather purse given me at a tender age with the phrase “Jesus is King” etched on the outside by the maker, one of those 60’s hippie-style numbers with a Jesus Freak twist. I still have appreciation for what Christ accomplished. But my sense of humor sings louder than anything else on this one colorful thread of life’s relentless irony weave.

Does Isaac mind being called Jesus? No, it was meant as a joke because he’s grown his hair fairly long for this quiet town in the Bible Belt and he’s one of those compassionate but candid creatures with a propensity for keeping it simple. A young man of few words, the moniker has stuck. Give this Jesus 2 hours on Minecraft and the worlds he builds are intricate and elaborately planned. His deep affection shows little use for words while the hugs, pats, and meaningful eye contact sing a silent feast. He feels deeply but don’t ask him to say much.  Isaac is busy with his amness. And he’s rockin’ great at it.

Formerly known as Buddha Boy, back when he was a chunky toddler, it’s fitting his friends playfully call him Jesus now. His hair goes a few inches past his shoulders and he’s been known to evoke the nickname “string-bean.” This shift to Jesus works well. It goes right along with the path he’s on, not in terms of service to humanity but just in the way he’s open to the various songs of truth coming from seemingly opposed forces. And that, in itself, is a service, isn’t it?

Buddha boy should inevitably take a Jesus turn. And it’s a blast to watch him grow, play his way along the violin’s voice and kick a soccer ball with the kind of precise finesse you expect of someone who cares about detail. More and more I love these lives whose actions speak so many things, singing varied melodies and saving their world one work of individuality at a time.

Jesus Plays Violin

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Grasp Power Lightly…

“Those who possess the power of knowing and trusting their Medicine grasp that power lightly. They understand that by clutching or holding on to the idea of power, one becomes possessed by it.
These wise individuals never need to defend who or what they are, because they are confident in the Medicine they carry. The precious understanding of one’s role in life and one’s gifts is between each individual and the Creator. The Earth Mother protects these gifted ones because they have come home to the Self, examining and working on all their weak points.
Through using the cold eye of self-examination, these individuals do not point fingers at others. They understand that there is no need to fight against jealousy or attempts to slander. They choose to maintain the dignity of their inner peace, and that is why we call them the Faithful and the Peacemakers.”   Jamie Sams – Earth Medicine, Ancestors’ Ways of Harmony for Many Moons

Photo by Kate Stetler Holgate, Used by Permission

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An Engaged Life…

“There was a time when we humans were not so separated from the natural world and the spirits as we are today. We lived directly on the Earth, in nature, honoring the cycles of all things, where we could see the interaction and manifestation of Spirit easily. This way of living is not some kind of revisionist utopian fantasy. Rather, it is the nature of an engaged life, lived close to the environment and in symbiosis with the immediate world around us. As we have hidden our natural selves, and from our natural selves, in the sanitized boxes of suburbia, office cubicles, congested cities, logic, reason, science, technology, and the myriad traps of modern civilization, we have segregated ourselves from nonordinary energies and perception, seemingly banishing them altogether…This separation of ourselves from the natural world doesn’t make sense on any plane of existence, high-vibrational or otherwise. It is essentially an unnatural by-product of the complete removal of our culture and peoples from the natural world. it is antievolutionary.”

Colleen Deatsman and Paul Bowersox – Seeing in the Dark, Claim Your Own Shamanic Power Now and in the Coming Age

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Sunday Supposing…

“…if God is the source of life, then the only way you worship God is by living, living fully, sharing life, giving life away, not being afraid…wandering out of the known into the unknown…”

 

 

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Plenty to Learn…

I’ve had a bit of adventure over the past couple of days in my exchanges with both a Christian and an atheist. Suffice to say it has taught me more about myself than anything else. My struggle has been more along the lines of accepting the loss that Christianity’s frailties exacted on my life. The uber-positive guru groupies might not want to hear anything about loss but that doesn’t change the fact that there is irretrievable loss in many lives. But even in my process of acceptance and healing I find that the loss does afford me a unique treasure through the lessons I’ve learned of value, of the preciousness of every pulse of our lives. And I still have so much to learn. This little nugget from John Spong hit me hard. It’s not that I haven’t realized this truth he expresses before – in terms of how to manage my frustration with narrow-minded Christian thinking. But for whatever reason, it hit more fertile ground in my soul than it has in the past. And it specifically connects with my angst with more ignorant, destructive Christians and encourages me to see things from a different perspective. It doesn’t change the fact that someone’s best experience of the Divine might be so limited and limiting that they actually injure those they have charge of for a season. But it does bathe the angst in a bit of much-needed light, dispersing bitterness in a more balanced perspective… “That person is responding to as much of God as they can experience….” Insert “love” if that’s as far as “god” goes for you, in any case, it’s a beautiful truth Spong expresses here… As someone standing outside of Christianity I still need to hear this from time to time in order to deal with my own reactions to those I experience as toxic.

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