Blogs must have posts and posts must have words and words must have meaning. And so, here I am. Beyond that, inspiration is running low but life hums along with an almost fevered vibe. Spring simmers underneath the green spreading across my lawn and through the trees bending in winds heavy with pollen. The birds. Oh the birds. What wonder they’re spreading all over my world, such articulate meaningful unfathomable joy. And I must go here, there, all over the place, fetching, delivering and generally running ragged like a lone cab driver in a city of insistent need. Soccer, homeschool group, doctor, school, concert and back again.
Meaning? Words? Time?
Instead there are deep breaths and pulling weeds, dirt digging and garden plotting, planning fitness routines and illness recovery and. Hugs, teenage children and the lone 10 year old boy bearing the weight of his impending growth like a cloak he’d rather divest of forever. Truly. “Me too? Really Mom? Can’t I just pause?”
There’s the quiet visit of parents and a person from my past dying painfully, thinking faith is the cure when love either works a miracle or insists we face what life is for most of us – believe it or not. A philosopher going awry, gnarled by arrogance hideous, and assuming my absence is weakness (not the nausea hurling me beyond his platform). A neighbor who is more friend than neighbor and a world spinning in colors surreal but more real than this glowing screen insisting. Birthdays and bonds more meaningful than the aged ever knew.
Sadness dancing with joy eclipsed by desire drowned out by acceptance fed by hope steaming in love’s conjuring illumination…
And so it is, life…a rich concoction of goings on, both within and beyond and a song singing me through the days, meaning beyond meaning, deeper than anything any words, post, blog could convey.
And I’m grateful for every bit of it…